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This Is How We Get Fat

10:34 PM: “Tomorrow’s the day. I’m going to get up early and hit the gym. I’ll make eggs with veggies instead of eating cereal. I’m gonna stop eating out. I have to. I can’t let myself become like everyone else around me. I’m not going to turn into the typical overweight adult. I’ll stay fit and youthful forever.”

11:41 PM: “There’s a deal for one of the games on my Steam wishlist. I think I’ll buy it and play for a while before I go to bed.”

1:39 AM: “Crap, looks like I stayed up a bit too late. Well, time to go to bed – I’ll just deal with a little less sleep tomorrow. I really want to start on my plans to get healthy in the morning.”

7:00 AM: “Oh no, it’s my alarm – but I feel like I just went to bed like 20 minutes ago! I can’t get up now…. it’s OK. My first class isn’t until 10:00. I’ll just sleep a little longer.”

8:00 AM: “Ugghh my legs feel so warm; I just don’t want to move them. 15 more minutes.”

8:15 AM: “Alright, I guess I’ll get up. I’ve got to get going on my goals. I’ll just my email real quick before I pop over to the gym.”

8:18 AM: “Oh crap, I forgot! I was supposed to email my professor about making up that test. Now, where did I write down his email…”

8:28 AM: “Alright, email’s sent. I’ve still got time – I’ll just check my notifications real quick. Oh look, I’ve got a reply on Reddit…”

8:59 AM: “Ok, no more Reddit. I’ve got to get moving. Wait a minute… I forgot that I’ll have to shower and eat too. And the bus comes at 9:36… crap, I don’t have time to get to the gym this morning! I guess I’ll have to go after class…”

9:18 AM: “Showered and pretty much ready – I just need to grab something to eat. Hmm… it’ll take about three minutes to run out to the bus, so that leaves me only 15 minutes to eat. That’s probably not enough time to cook something; plus, my roommates would be mad if I left dishes in the sink, and I won’t have time to wash them. I’ll just make toast and grab a cereal bar, I guess.”

9:54 AM: “Alright, time for class. Man, I’m really tired – I shouldn’t have gone to bed so late last night. I think I’ll grab a Red Bull from the cafe before I head into class. It’s not great, but I think I’ll literally fall asleep at my desk without it.”

11:34 AM: “I’ve got a short break; I think I’ll head home so I can make something healthy for lunch. I’ve got some carrots and chicken breast in the fridge, and-” *phone rings* Hey man, we’re all heading to Panda for lunch. Wanna join us?

“I really should join them; I’ve been feeling pretty anti-social lately and I don’t want to ignore my friends. I’ll make that chicken breast tonight or something.”

2:57 PM: “Man, I hate my economics class. I’d rather bash my head in than sit and listen to that guy drone on about slopes and consumer demand for an hour. I think I’ll grab a chocolate milk from the cafe so there’s at least something to look forward to. It’ll be fine – milk’s a lot better than Red Bull, right?”

5:06 PM: “Alright, time to head home. I’m actually pretty low on homework tonight, so I should be able to work out right after I drop my stuff off in my room.”

5:25 PM: “I’ll check the mail before I head in” – “Oh sweet, that poster I ordered is here!”

5:36 PM: “Crap, I don’t have any more command strips to hang it with. I’ll have to put it up later. I should get to the gym – but I should check emails real quick.”

5:45 PM: *roommate comes home* – Hey dude, I need to go to the store to get some stuff. Wanna come with?  – “Yeah, I actually do need a few things, like those command strips. I think I’ll go.”

6:32 PM: You want to pick up a pizza for dinner tonight? “No way. There is no way I’m eating take-out tonight – I’ve got to cook something healthy.”

6:46 PM: Hey, that new episode of Community is on tonight – let’s watch it!

“What the hell, I’m in college – I can work out late at night! Let’s watch that episode first.”

7:06 PM: *friend comes in* Hey dude, I picked up a case of that beer I was telling you about. Want one?

“I probably shouldn’t… but heck, I’ve been wanting to try it, and one beer isn’t going to hurt me that much. Especially since I didn’t get take-out.”

7:24 PM: “Damn, that beer was good… I think I’m gonna have another one.”

(Three beers later)

8:12 PM: Dude, I’m hungry. Let’s go get Jimmy Johns or something.

“Fuck it, I’m a little tipsy and don’t care right now. Let’s do it.”

8:40 PM: “I need something to drink with this – ah, there’s one more beer in the pack. Might as well have it.”

9:03 PM: “Shiiiiiit, it’s too late to work out. And I’m a little drunk as well…”

Hey we’re gonna watch a movie. Come watch it with us!

11:30 PM: Sigh… “Tomorrow’s the day.”